Menu ≡ ╳

Motives and consequences of adultery. What is adultery: concept, reasons, advice, correct behavior, way out. Attitude to adultery

Types of paints for facades

05.11.2022

Often in relationships between two people the concept of betrayal comes up.

The fact of betrayal leads to conflict and destruction of the union.

The question arises - what is considered treason, how to find an acceptable limit.

Who cheats more often: men or women? on our website.

Concept

What is cheating in a relationship? To begin with, it is worth defining the concept of treason.

There are two people who dating or living together.

In the process of close contact, they have certain obligations among themselves.

If these obligations are violated, then it is already possible suggest the presence of betrayal.

Treason, meanwhile, can be physical and moral.

physical- intimate relationship with another person;
moral- a connection that also involves emotions.

Treason can have either one of the options or combine both.

When defining treason, one should also be guided by the norm of what is permissible. Simple for some correspondence on social networks, flirting with the opposite sex are already a betrayal, the other person will consider that physical contact without love is acceptable and is not considered a full-fledged betrayal.

There are couples who, due to their own convictions, allow relationships on the side and do not consider this something offensive.

IN toxic relationships As a rule, one person loves and is emotionally dependent on a partner, the other takes liberties on the side, without considering such behavior to be wrong or immoral.

The internal contradiction between one’s own attitudes and actions is of great importance.

What for one person will be a betrayal, for another - just harmless fun diversifying your personal life.

Why do we look for our other half and decide to cheat:

Is this betrayal or not?

Or is it just a human mistake, a personality trait that allows such behavior.

If the other party suffered severe mental, emotional or physical harm, then betrayal can be regarded as betrayal. In cases where the consequences are not felt too clearly, it can be classified as a negative stressful situation.

Betrayal does not exist in a couple where the relationship has already come to an end, the marriage is on the verge of divorce. Here, betrayal is regarded as searching for the other half.

Fidelity in marriage is also about maintaining health, since intimate contact increases the likelihood of sexually transmitted diseases, as well as preserving the purity of the family and genes.

Often looking for connections on the side regarded as compensation that something is missing in the relationship. If a person is caught cheating, he will try to instill in his partner a feeling of guilt for not paying him due attention.

In fact, the reasons are much deeper. Even with a lack of intimate relationships, a loving and respectful spouse remains faithful or would prefer to end the relationship and start a new one than to have an affair on the side.

If a partner allows himself to have affairs, it means initially there is no respect in the couple, concepts of morality, loyalty, unity.

In a harmonious relationship, there is no desire to seek intimate connections outside the union.

When considering whether betrayal is treason or not, it is important to consider emotional component.

Yes, a person is not always in control of his feelings, but if, by deciding to have an affair on the side, he loses respect, love for his partner, giving him negative emotions, then cheating can be regarded as betrayal.

Especially if she lasts a long time and the lover or mistress became close people.

How to get your husband to admit to cheating? will help you!

Who is a cheater and what does it mean to cheat?

The cheater is a man violating certain obligations in a couple. By default, when people get into intimate relationships, loyalty to their partner becomes a priority.

The cheater ignores the need to be with only one person and allows himself relationships on the side, one-time or permanent.

An extramarital affair may happen once and never happen again. Either it becomes habitual, partners change, or a permanent mistress or lover appears.

In the second case, we can say that the person is a cheater. He broke his promise to be faithful and caused his permanent partner distress.

Those who decide to have extramarital affairs often do not take into account what their spouse feels, understands, suspects, that there is a third person.

As a result, irritation, aggression, and a depressed mood appear.

The cheater justifies his actions by saying that his partner has started to treat him differently, but in fact, such negative behavior and was caused by a lack of fidelity.

Psychology

The psychology of female and male infidelity is fundamentally different.

What is considered adultery?

When entering into marriage, a man and a woman swear an oath of fidelity.

This means that they should not have intimate or other relationships with someone other than your spouse.

For a woman, a kiss also has an emotional component, so it can be regarded as some form of treason.

Having an affair with your spouse on the side is already a betrayal, a violation of the oath of fidelity.

From a legal point of view Intimate relationships on the side, single or permanent, will be considered treason, and they may be grounds for divorce.

What does it mean?

If a husband cheats on his wife or a wife cheats on her husband, what does this mean?

In marriage, the norm is to remain faithful to your partner, even despite the circumstances, provoking connection on the side.

If one of the partners decides to have an affair on the side, it means there are problems in the family.

Reasons for family betrayal:

partner does not satisfy physically;
lacks emotions;
family life seems monotonous;
the partner is “fed up”;
the spouse shows indifference;
there have been no unifying factors in the family for a long time; in fact, the relationship is at the stage of discord;
the inner “nature” of a person, which allows him to have connections on the side with ease and without pangs of conscience.

If cheating is discovered in a marriage, this is a reason to pay attention to how harmonious the relationship is and whether the partners are comfortable with each other sexually and emotionally.

The best way to find out the reason is to talk.

When can this be considered normal?

Every family is a special world with its own traditions and rules.

If both partners allow connections on the side, then this does not bother anyone and the relationship can exist for a long time and even happily.

However, in this case, care should also be taken not to cause moral harm to children and do not form a negative family model.

If the relationship has fallen apart so much that it is impossible to restore it, cheating is an acceptable way to gain mental and physical pleasure.

However, if you or your partner indulge in outside relationships, you should think about whether is such a relationship necessary?.

Betrayal, either by yourself or your husband, is stress and a violation of the integrity of family relationships.

Where is the line beyond which betrayal begins? Find out from the video:

Men tend to consider infidelity an absolutely normal phenomenon, justifying it with their polygamous nature. This manner of behavior is more typical of mentally unformed individuals who have not developed a clear position in life. Young men idealize, overthink, can often be in search, want to receive exciting emotions, sensations, and justify variability with the desire to spend youth fully, having tried what the soul desires.

The relationships of mature male representatives are built on completely different values, betrayal is already a step that stains trust, the relationships of people who have been in a marriage for many years, they have something to value, cherish, remember, respect comes first; The concept of adultery is becoming more widespread among young people. The fair sex is more sensitive to this issue, they worry more deeply, for them it almost always means separation; if they do this, they are most likely ready to sacrifice everything they have acquired for the sake of a new relationship.

The difference is that young ladies are less likely to engage in spontaneous, abrupt, rash actions, unless you count severe stressful situations, emotional stress and a hot temperament. Adultery is disrespect for oneself, one’s choice, taste, a non-standard situation that makes adjustments, a turning point, but if this happens outside the boundaries of marriage, a sacred vow, then it does not apply to either positive or negative factors; it simply betrays uncertainty, the search for the ideal partner for yourself.

As a rule, husbands do not forgive, and wives prefer to ignore (fear of loneliness, stereotype about a woman’s difficult lot).

Marital infidelity is not always characterized by past feelings, then what is it? What is the argument for betraying a loved one?

A thoughtless impulse, momentary weakness, temptation;
problems in family life, stress, depression, desire to be distracted;
short-term sympathy.

In principle, there can be a lot of reasons.

First of all, this is a problem of two; the reason must be sought together, and not engaged in mutual accusations.

We must live in reality, accept our shortcomings and advantages as a feature, be able to correct ourselves and improve. The main circumstance of adultery among the strong half of humanity is lack of attention and unsatisfied needs.

Guys want to see in their girls not only loving, gentle, caring mothers for future children, but also for themselves, and we must not forget about experiments (sex, appearance), take into account desires and needs, try to please and please. Ladies should also be protected, pampered, cherished, so that unnecessary thoughts do not creep in, and you do not have to look for missing qualities on the side. Some are willing to endure constant humiliation, while others are content with the wrong tone or look for third-party romances.

Each situation is individual, unique in its own way, but is united by one question: what is cheating in a relationship? – A lesson, a test of the strength of bonds, a painful feeling of disappointment that brings bitter experience. Anyone has the right to make mistakes, modern youth have more freedom of choice, no control and ridicule, they have the right to build relationships as they please, but at the same time they must maintain decency, honesty, sincerity, and not cross the boundaries of what is permitted, thereby offending the honor and dignity of others.

Third-party adultery is a sign to the couple that it is time to make changes, to sincerely talk, listen, and make a joint decision about the future, subject to regret, repentance, full admission of guilt, and clear knowledge of what happened.

You can forgive, but you should not sacrifice yourself for the sake of an inappropriate person who does not value you, and vice versa - do not allow excessive pride, which would foolishly deprive you of your loved one. You must be able to share even pain, despair, disappointment, the impulse to be together, to reconcile, to make joint decisions, which, alas, do not always carry a joyful and favorable content.

New love

In fact, betrayal is not only a violation of an oath, but a duty to the other half, God, but to get to the bottom of it, you need to try carefully. Marriages are made in heaven, but it’s not for nothing that people say that everything is God’s will, nothing happens just like that.

The spouse should make sure that he was not guided by fleeting pleasure, this is not submission to animal instinct, but sincere, very real, bright feelings. There are not so many reasons for cheating; as a rule, they affect women and men equally. How can a parasite or an unemployed person start a family if he himself prefers to sit on his neck?

If there is no attention, affection, care, then one cannot be accused of betrayal; everyone is looking on the side for what they lack, especially when they cannot reach the heart of their loved one. Be that as it may, you should figure it out calmly, consciously come to conclusions, understand how you really feel. Of course, it is possible to meet new love, but responsibilities will not disappear, problems will not be forgotten, they will not be allowed to disappear into thin air.

“White lies” are used only if there is a desire to preserve the family hearth, but new love has the right to exist only under the condition of revelations, honesty, and maximum truthfulness.

There is no point in condemnation, no one is immune from this, the main thing is to get out of the situation with dignity. When cheating begins, the husband or wife understands that changes are taking place, the worst thing is not knowing what to expect next, this is what deception can turn into:

children suffer, take an example from their parents;
sin makes the whole family vulnerable;
quarrels, showdowns;
emotional breakdowns;
bad karma.

Betrayal is a new beginning, a signal for change. It is important to live as you want, but not at the cost of insulting others. By telling the truth, you can save yourself from most troubles. It’s better to get a divorce than to suffer all your life, the main thing is accuracy, a loyal, individual approach.

Behavior patterns

The first is to pretend that no one noticed anything, remain silent, and continue to live as if nothing happened.

The second is to figure it out, discuss all the details, try to change, repent, and protect yourself from the divorce process together.

The third thing is to realize and accept mistakes that there is no strength or sense to forgive, divorce, arrange your future separately from each other.

The choice depends on the spouses, their character, temperament, feelings and emotions experienced, readiness to say goodbye, to break the ties that bind; the decisive factor is the level of harmfulness of the situation, behavior, and repentance of the traitor.

How to survive?

Tests are given in order to overcome them. Naturally, “a knife in the back” is one of the worst feelings you can experience; milestones built on trust are destroyed.

Adultery is considered precisely under the word “loss”, because it is obvious that even in the event of reconciliation, the former will not return, so it is quite logical to experience pain, there is no need to restrain it. For example, at the beginning of a relationship, they are often subject to illusions about how a woman is thrifty, kind, a man is brave, generous, but over time, learning about life together, they open up from a completely different side, which can actually provoke third-party adultery.

Often a devotee is fixated on his aggression, he no longer feels anything, is angry, is in a protracted depression that lasts for years, emotions successively move from one stage to another, starting with denial of the fact and ending with its acceptance. You need to speak out, occupy yourself with what you love, find a new hobby, the main thing is to throw out your emotions, cry out the insult, loss, survive, but together or alone is a different task!

Video

What is treason? Should she be forgiven? Or should I break off the relationship forever? What to do to never encounter this phenomenon? There are still many questions that worry both young girls and women of piquant age. It is possible to answer these questions, but first you will have to understand what the word “treason” means in Russian.

Dictionaries say that treason is failure to comply with contractual obligations. These obligations can be written (oath, contracts, etc.) or oral.

It is precisely this interpretation of the word that some who like to conquer other people’s beds cling to. “I didn’t promise her anything,” declares the inexperienced Casanova and cheats on his girlfriend with her friend.

This is unconditionally cheating, and it is undoubtedly bad. It is not necessary to make vows out loud. It’s just that we ladies believe that if a relationship with a partner lasts a long time, if a man makes us understand how much he likes us, and finally, if we sleep with him, then this obliges him to be faithful. We hope that if the partner thinks differently, he will at least warn about it and explain his point of view.

What is treason? Disgusting act. Its consequences are quarrels, tears, and sometimes the formation of a stable concept that “all men are svo...” and “all women are sus...”.

Is it so? By the way, cheating on a guy is just as common as cheating on a girl. The statistics are disappointing. But does the fact of cheating mean that the partner is a disgusting person? Not always.

To answer the question of what betrayal is and how to avoid it, you need to understand the reasons for this act.

There is an opinion that there are many reasons for betrayal. This is partly true. This is partly why the wording of any reason contains the word “dissatisfaction.” Cheating is driven by dissatisfaction with sex life, lack of attention, and uncertainty about the future. Treason is provoked by dissatisfaction with relationships, frequent and major quarrels. Men's infidelities can demonstrate them

Scientists from all countries have come to the conclusion: if both partners respect each other, if they are satisfied with their sex life and everyday life (believe me, this is important!), if they are able to listen and understand each other, then the risk of betrayal in such couples is rapidly approaching to zero.

Should I forgive betrayal or should I immediately break off the relationship? Each person must find the answer for himself. But before you make a decision, try to delve deeply into the situation, find the reason that pushed your soul mate to cheat.

Due to the nature of my work, I talked a lot with men on this topic, which worries them no less than women. And here are the conclusions I came to.

Many men, feeling undervalued in relationships, try to assert themselves on the side. The more beds they visit, the more courageous they become in their own eyes.

Others justify their betrayal with a sense of duty. they say, I fell passionately in love with someone else, but I won’t leave my wife, that’s why we lived with her for a long time (we have children). This is also an empty excuse, which most often indicates that the man is not able to make decisions. Such a macho man simply does not think about the fact that he hurts both ladies.

Of course, this behavior is disgusting. But, dear ladies, remember how long ago you praised your husband (boyfriend, partner, gentleman, boyfriend)? How often do you get a headache during the most intimate moments? How long have you shown your tenderness and arranged pleasant surprises for your other half? Maybe too often you turn from a loving wife, a skillful housewife and a faithful friend into a “grumbler”, “saw” or “vixen”?

Dear men, remember if work has replaced your wife? Do you often neglect your girlfriend by flirting with others?

Think about your behavior, try to correct it, and then you won’t have to look for the answer to the question of what cheating is. You simply will never come across such a concept. Love, be faithful and happy.

Adultery is a violation of marital fidelity, and the one who violates it is considered an unfaithful person who has not fulfilled his obligations.

An extramarital affair is one of the most difficult challenges in married life. Living together with a person involves jointly building relationships, a family, a home, and raising children. Therefore, confidence in your partner, in his fidelity and constancy is important. Betrayal is like a sudden blow that knocks the ground out from under your feet. Not everyone can cope with this blow.

Some people tend to take a philosophical view of cheating, arguing that “everyone cheats!” Statistics are not so definitive. Durex conducted a global survey in 2005, according to which only 22% of respondents had extramarital affairs. Depending on the research, different authors provide figures that generally correlate with this survey: about 26-50% of men and 21-38% of women have cheated on their spouses at least once.

Whatever the attitude of the spouses towards infidelity, do not forget about the possible serious consequences:

the threat of family breakdown and loss of marital feelings;

destruction of emotional, economic, everyday, as well as child-parent relationships;

hurt feelings of honor and personal dignity of the deceived partner, his suffering and destructive experiences, jealousy and resentment;

serious psychological trauma to the injured partner, which can provoke depression, alcoholism and even suicide attempts.

The statement that only immoral people cheat is not true. In marriages where an unhealthy environment, scandals, jealousy, suspicions prevail, and there is a lack of empathy, kindness and understanding, sooner or later betrayal will happen, because one of the spouses will be forced to look for a person who will show him understanding and respect.

Anyone who is calm about cheating most likely simply does not have feelings for his marriage partner. When adultery occurs during a period of serious conflict, it is perceived as a natural result. The strength of the experience depends on the frequency of similar situations in the past.

Before drawing conclusions and moving on to radical measures such as divorce, it is worth understanding the true reasons for infidelity. If this is a partner’s mistake, for which he repents, you need to be able to forgive.

If infidelity is caused by a damaged relationship between spouses, then you should look into it instead of immediately blaming your partner. In any case, divorce is the most undesirable way out of a difficult conflict.

What is treason spouses?

Why is it most often identified with carnal sinfulness? Where did this concept come from and where is the line that cannot be crossed?

I receive letters in my email inbox, which I group by degree of similarity. When quite a lot of them accumulate, I begin careful processing. I once promised that not a single letter would be left unattended.

Let's start philosophizing and try, without turning to an interpreter for help, to define the concept of adultery. Look, the word “treason” itself means some change in views or relationships. In this case, adultery is a violation of generally accepted boundaries of permissibility, resulting in disharmony in relationships.

Do not agree? Then add it!

What's most interesting is that men and women have diametrically opposed views on the concept of adultery.
Based on the survey results, we can conclude that a man by nature is an owner and breadwinner, believing that female infidelity lies in the loss of fidelity, which is directly related to carnal infidelity.

Once I had the opportunity to become an unwitting participant in a conversation between two respectable gentlemen wearing a suit and tie. One of them tried to prove to the other that despite the fact that human nature is sinful, female physiology should not participate in the strict concept of treason. In other words, the respectable guy tried to calm his friend down, proving to him that his wife acted the same as most of the fair sex. The only exception is that he found out about it. For the rest, he justified her by the fact that she could still be considered a good housewife and a caring mother.

- “Vyacheslav, remember yourself, dear! When you were young, you never missed a single skirt! Righteous God, what treason?!” said the one who interceded.
- “Gregory!” Have you heard this concept? If a man, I don’t want to put it “has”, this is in the order of things, but if his wife is “fucked”, that means me, you know, me... - and without punishment. How righteous you are! Your wife is cooking pilaf, and my wife is drilling,” the deceived answered, blushing nervously.

Their argument continued for a long time, and I had to go out. But I was once again convinced that many men identify betrayal, first of all, with carnal sinfulness. This is a kind of indirect humiliation of their sexual viability. Therefore, they often perceive an uncleaned apartment and unwashed dishes as a normal occurrence. Even the lack of support from a woman in difficult times finds its justification. Anything, just not fornication.

These men are such selfish people and complete owners. The most interesting thing is that the male half does not hide this, but openly demonstrates sexual superiority.
I conducted a survey of the female population between the ages of thirty-five and forty-five. I did this via the Internet, trying to get an answer to a question related to what adultery means by female standards.

So, about seventy percent of women initially consider their spouses to be complete traitors. They motivate this by the fact that all men “walk”, only some do it thinking with their heads, while others... well, you understand me. For the majority of respondents, the most important thing is not knowing that their spouse cheated. Such women are ready to believe in any excuses, just so as not to catch their loved one at the “scene of the crime.” For them, the most important thing turned out to be fidelity, associated with the fulfillment of marital duty, respectful attitude and stable income. They are ready to close their eyes to the rest.

The overwhelming minority believes that betrayal is primarily a sexual relationship on the side. Almost thirty percent of respondents say that if a man has sexual relations with another woman, then this is not forgiven, even if he takes care of children, earns good money and fulfills his marital duty.
And finally, about three percent of women reason like this... Here is a fragment of a conversation between two mature representatives of the fair sex.

- “You understand, Tony, he was having a blast - it doesn’t happen to anyone. Man, he is a man. The main thing is not to bring dirt into bed. Well, look: he doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, plays sports, and brings a salary, albeit a small one, to the house. Do you know what they are! They're letting go of their hands. My mother always said: it’s better to walk than drink. That’s it,” one of the women tried to justify her betrothed.

- “Your truth, Sonya. Mine doesn’t walk around, but when he gets drunk, he starts waving his arms. And whatever you touch, you can’t go anywhere without me. How many times have I dragged him around on me? What kind of betrayal is there if only with a bottle! We haven't had sex for a long time. Forgive me, Holy God,” answered the second, fervently crossing herself.

This is how the picture turned out.

As for my opinion, I will keep it to myself...

The article was prepared by me, Edwin Vostryakovsky.

Another interesting article.