My husband used me to forget his ex-wife. How to forget your ex-wife, lover, girlfriend: advice from psychologists and practical training. "Find the good in parting"

05.11.2022

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asks: Artem

Hello. My name is Artem, 34 years old. Four months ago I divorced my wife. They didn’t get along, as they say, in character. As it turned out later, she had a back - she went to someone else... It saddens me to think about it. I am tormented by speculation that she betrayed me even before the divorce. But I can’t forget her either. It seems that I’m getting ready to live in a new way, but in the evening I feel a wave of melancholy. I think about her, remember both the good and the not so good. But how can I change my mind at once and set myself up for the “new wave”. I hope for your advice.

Answers and advice from psychologists

Artem, fortunately or unfortunately, “rebuilding at once” is a myth. Separation, and even more so divorce, is always a crisis. A crisis that needs to be overcome, survived and only then build a new life.

You don't write how long you were married, but, in any case, your experiences are natural and it would be very harmful to ignore them or suppress them in some way.

The best option is to allow yourself to be in this state, to live it.

If you think that this is too long or unbearable for you, then it makes sense to consult a psychologist, but only if you feel that you yourself cannot cope with life, which is now full of precisely these emotions.

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Hello, Artem!
The fact that you cannot forget your ex-wife is quite natural; the memory of feelings does not come so quickly; as a rule, it takes 6 months or more (it’s different for everyone).
In addition, you also have a grudge against her. To make this process easier, it would be good to work through the resentment. By working through the resentment we mean forgiving her for doing this to you and yourself, for allowing this situation to happen. Learn from this situation and understand how to build new relationships to prevent this from happening.
As for general recommendations, I can advise you to try not to run into her, not to look at photos of her, not to call, not to look at her pages on social media. networks, etc. So. It will be easier for you to let go of this situation.

It is difficult to quickly and painlessly forget your ex-wife or girlfriend. Often men “break down” during this period: they start drinking, taking drugs, randomly changing partners, and quitting their jobs. These are the consequences of a depressed person who has lost a loved one. A man is engaged in self-examination, looking for shortcomings in himself, accumulating grievances against his ex, and feeling sorry for himself. But there are ways to get out of this state with the least losses.

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After breaking up with a loved one, a painful time of adaptation begins. Depression, which inevitably occurs in a person, destroys the psyche. The sooner this process goes through, the less losses the person will begin a new life.

Psychologists highlight the main points that help to cope with this. They are divided into two groups of advice: what to do and what to avoid.

What not to do

Each person is unique, but in similar situations people make the same mistakes. Psychologists have compiled a list of what you should not do after breaking up with a loved one:

There is no need to console yourself with the hope that your beloved will understand her mistakes, realize it, and correct herself. Even if she comes back, the past relationship cannot be returned. Feeling her power over a man, a woman will begin to manipulate his feelings. Relationships will become more difficult. A man in her eyes will lose respect.
Trying to sort things out, making excuses, proving her mistakes will only aggravate the suffering.
Spying on your ex, collecting details of her life through acquaintances - prolonging the adaptation process, postponing relief from depression for a long time.
Build intrigues, trying to quarrel your beloved with your new chosen one, spread gossip about your ex, try to ruin your reputation - this is not like a man. This may bring satisfaction for a short time, but it will lower the man in the eyes of his acquaintances.
It is absolutely impossible to seek solace in alcohol, smoking, or drugs.

What to do

As for what should be done, there are some tips from psychologists:

First you need to get rid of guilt.
Now you need to mentally work through the situation, try to understand the cause of the discord, understand that there will be no return to the past, and draw a plan for your future life.
The third stage is practical and difficult. This is a change in oneself, the environment, the situation. Using trainings, you need to erase your ex from your life, find other interests, and change plans for the future.
The last step is meeting new love. He is the final one. Although sometimes men manage to complete it, bypassing the previous two - this simplifies the situation.

Getting rid of guilt

The first way to help get out of this situation is to find out the reasons for the separation. After all, pangs of conscience and feelings of guilt are pain that most men have to experience after a divorce. Only inveterate egoists easily endure separation, placing responsibility on the woman.

In order to raise the bar of self-esteem, a man needs to figure out whether he is really to blame for what happened. After all, if there is no pangs of conscience, it is easier to forget the past. Public opinion, which often blames men, plays an important role.

Psychologists insist: both are to blame for breakups.

The roots of the belief that men are to blame for divorce

Public opinion in Russia in divorces often supports the woman, blaming the man. There are many reasons for this:

In Russia, women are more likely to initiate separation.
Children almost always stay with their mother. If the father demands that the child be left to him, he is accused of wanting to make his ex-wife suffer more.
Complaining about a woman is unmanly. But it’s normal to cry about a woman’s difficult fate.
The shortcomings of husbands are sometimes alcoholism, drug addiction, infidelity, rudeness in relationships (even beatings). These are compelling reasons that serve as indisputable evidence of male guilt. But regardless of whether these reasons apply in a particular case or not, when discussing a breakup, most people come to the woman’s defense without trying to understand the situation.
In the Soviet past, there were such a small number of women who could be accused of drunkenness, debauchery, or drug addiction that she was deprived of suspicion of involvement in them. The habit of considering a woman purer than a man has persisted to this day.

Modern causes of divorce

Over the past 20-30 years, a lot has changed in society. In modern society, not all women are active opponents of alcohol. Change both sides equally. Only assault by a woman against her partner is unlikely due to physical gender differences. Therefore, the reasons for divorce can be:

female, not male, addiction to alcohol;
female, not male, infidelity.

But a new compelling reason for divorces and scandals between partners has emerged: absolute financial demands on the spouse. Most modern ladies are sure: the husband’s salary is shared, the wife’s money (if she works) is her personal. The goal of such “zagrebetnitsa” is to place family and personal financial problems on the partner.

The interesting thing is that most men agree with this. Some cope with the task, allowing a woman to spend as much as her heart desires. The rest receive constant showdowns, insults, and humiliation from their partner or wife and her mother. The reason for divorce due to financial differences is unjustifiably blamed on the man. Many women have forgotten that the words “spouses” originally meant “walking in the same harness,” “pulling a common cart equally.”

Quarrels out of nowhere, disregard for the partner’s wishes, inattention are obligatory parts of conflicts that lead to the separation of two people. And here, alcohol consumption is not a cause, but a consequence. Reproaches about low earnings are just a reason to make a scandal.

The reason is that she does not love this person. But there are no apparent reasons to break up just like that. According to the “rules of public opinion,” a woman must be an unfortunate victim. Not everyone can admit that she herself is to blame for the conflict, that she has fallen out of love with a good person. For this, those around her will judge her. For many, someone else’s opinion is the main assessment of a person’s behavior.

Fairytale therapy as a way to work through the situation

Relieving yourself of guilt is not the final solution to the problem. A man, even being confident in his sinlessness, does not receive complete relief. After all, it is unclear what to do next.

The use of fairy tale therapy helps to speed up the process of understanding the situation and drawing a plan for future actions. The “Be your own storyteller” method allows you to stage performances where the prototypes of the characters are the man himself, his ex, friends, and parents.

Sandbox for fairy tale therapy

It is supposed to work in a portable sandbox, but you can get by with a regular table. The man chooses the characters. They can be figurines, toys, if any. You can compose a fairy tale from the very beginning or choose one that was initially known.

For example, a man chooses a fairy tale about Little Red Riding Hood. In it he acts as the prototype of the Wolf. Here he is walking through the forest, bored. He meets Little Red Riding Hood, a beautiful girl. This, of course, is his ex. They meet, fall in love, decide to live together. Next, the man plays out the scenario based on his own life situations: for example, showing how Riding Hood forbade the Wolf to meet with friends; the Wolf could even visit his mother only with the permission of his authoritarian wife.

The tale reaches the breaking point of the relationship. The Little Cap kicks out the Wolf or goes to the Bear herself, the Wolf runs away as fast as he can into the forest or remains whining near the gate - the man honestly plays out his version for himself. Now he faces a more difficult task: he needs to develop a plan for further action.

Let's say the Wolf decides to go hunting. But he is ashamed to go into his forest - the flock, which he betrayed by leaving with Riding Hood, will laugh at him. Therefore, he goes to the neighboring forest, where he decides to start a new life: to finally try himself as a singer or wrestler.

What will happen next - the storyteller composes to his own taste. It is important that he made the decision to act. And a good ending (and in fairy tales it is always good) will definitely work out. Having seen how easy it really is to get out of the situation if you start taking action, the man receives a portion of energy, a push.

This is how the principle of fairy tale therapy works. See what happened from the outside, outline a plan for further action - psychologically work through the situation. Of course, it is best to perform the performance for someone, then the viewer’s interest will be fueled by the storyteller’s desire to come up with a creative plot, to find his own solution to the problem. But this method also works in private.

Recovery training after a breakup

It's painful to accept breaking up with the woman you love. But starting a new life is real: for this there are special trainings developed by specialists.

By doing them regularly, you can reduce the adaptation time and get rid of depression quite quickly.

"Blow off some steam"

Not everyone has the ability to give free rein to their feelings. Men often need to learn to let off steam. There are many ways to do this:

playing sports with a significant load;
hitting the boards with a hammer as hard as you can;
inflating balloons until they burst;
screaming at the top of your lungs;
imitation of sobbing with sobs.

Most ways to “let off steam” are associated with loud sounds - this is how the human psyche is structured that the release of strong emotions is accompanied by a noise effect. Fatigue after significant physical activity also relieves mental stress.

"I'm not the only one to blame"

Taking all the blame on yourself and not scolding your ex is commendable, but self-humiliation destroys the nervous system. Telling everyone about the shortcomings of your ex-lover is ugly. But it is necessary to analyze the relationship mentally, finding the reasons not only in your behavior.

It is recommended to analyze the personality of your ex in writing. On paper you need to write down all the unpleasant situations, using short phrases, phrases, shortcomings of your ex-wife or girlfriend. For example: “Dirty hands (does not wash after using the toilet)”; “He is rude in front of strangers”; “Not interested in my blog.” The sheet with shortcomings needs to be re-read every time thoughts about it come into your head.

Over time, the habit of blaming not only yourself, seeing shortcomings in your ex-partner, and not idealizing the relationship will do its job: the man will become less drawn to the past, and will stop dreaming of its return. Gradually, he will learn not to think of his ex-wife at all as a wonderful person whom he lost due to his stupidity.

"Forgive me as I forgive you"

Remembering that both are to blame for a broken relationship, you should accept your guilt by asking for forgiveness for your mistakes. You can do this out loud in a personal meeting. But a real request for forgiveness may be perceived by the ex in the wrong way: as a step towards reconciliation or an attempt to look better than her.

You need to ask for forgiveness not for the sake of someone, but to remove negativity from yourself.

Therefore, training is practiced alone. Every day for a week (the period can be increased if necessary), in the evening a man should sit and relax, close his eyes and mentally say: “Forgive me for everything and let me go!” And I forgive and let you go.” At the same time, you need to imagine how this communication takes place: calmly, kindly, without quarrels or reproaches.

"A nickel for a miss"

To remember your ex less often, you need to prepare not only mentally: remove all her things, trinkets reminiscent of past relationships, gifts, letters and cards, if any. Sometimes you even need to put away or destroy photographs.

Now it’s time to start training-punishment for memories. To do this you will need a piggy bank and change coins. Mentally, a man must set himself a condition of the game: with every memory of his ex, he is overtaken by punishment in the form of being deprived of one coin. This is how you can learn to control your thoughts.

"Find the good in parting"

Here it is important to convince yourself: even in bad there is good. The training is as follows: on a sheet with the shortcomings of your ex, they write down the advantages that accompany separation. For example, there was an entry: “It takes a long time to get ready.” The man is nervous, losing precious time. Therefore, now he will write down: “I have a lot of free time, I can play on the computer, read, go to a friend’s house.” Next to the words “he spends a lot on cosmetics” he writes: “I can use the money I save to go on a hike, buy a kayak, pay for a new video editor.”

It is not necessary to use a sheet with flaws. You can make a list of pleasant things from parting on a separate sheet. You will remember unrealized dreams that were inaccessible when living together. By writing them down, a man will understand how much good there is around him, how many interesting things have now become available.

Living with your spouse for the sake of your children

The ideal relationship for a married couple is to raise children together in love and harmony. But unhappy parents will not be able to make them happy. If circumstances are such that divorced spouses have a child, it is impossible to completely forget about the existence of the ex-wife.

If you cannot achieve a complete idyll - the mother does not allow you to be alone with your son or daughter - it is recommended to come to meetings with mutual friends. The ex will be embarrassed to offend them and will behave with restraint in front of them. Often the ex-wife, realizing the inappropriateness of her presence, leaves, abandoning attempts to observe the meetings of the father with the children.

A way to forget an old love, suitable for everyone without exception, is expressed in the saying: “They knock out a wedge with a wedge.” The phrase means: find a replacement for your ex - get rid of loneliness, soul-searching, depression. Usually new relationships are built differently than old ones, taking into account their own mistakes.

Having accepted the idea that you can be happy with another woman, a man is already taking the first step towards forgetting his ex-wife.

The memories will roll in for a while. But the trainings described above will help reduce the negativity from them to nothing.

A complete change of environment and decor is an excellent option for combating depression. For this it is recommended:

move to another area, city, so as not to meet mutual friends;
close your pages on social networks and create others, with changed data, which only your most faithful friends will know about;
purchase a new SIM card by blocking the old number;
change place of work;
take up your free time with your favorite hobby, which you had only dreamed of before.

It is important how serious a man’s intention is to erase bitter memories from his life. If he has set himself the goal of starting life from scratch, then he will achieve this. And the stronger the personality, the faster this will happen.

And a little about secrets...

I looked at my husband in fascination, and he did not take his admiring eyes off his mistress. He acted like a lovesick idiot...

Hello, Elena!

The problem is that you met a man not at the best moment, or rather, at a completely inopportune moment in His life. A divorced man (and if this happened recently, then even more so) is a special phenomenon.

Let's take a closer look at the situation

Firstly, grief (and separation is grief, even if you initiated the separation yourself) has its own patterns of progression. All stages require time to occur. You can't rush things. All this talk of “knocks things out” is not always justified. Therefore, six months is not the best period for entering into a new relationship.

Secondly, emotional living through all stages of separation should end with the end of the relationship and readiness to build new ones. In this situation, psychologically the previous relationship is not yet completed. Moreover, your partner is currently actively doing this. Hence these conversations about the ex. He feels that he needs to talk it out. Your main function now is a kind of “vest”. What kind of romance are we talking about? He has no time for her now. Talking about work is an excuse, it’s just that emotionally He cannot get involved in another relationship, He is still “licking his wounds.”

Thirdly, even when He moves away from his previous relationship, it does not mean that he will immediately rush headlong into a new one. Yes, it’s possible to have just connections and more than one, but more serious ones will think a thousand times.

What to do in this situation? I hope we've cleared things up a bit, but it's up to you. The following scenarios are possible:

1) Wait for him to recover from emotional devastation. To be His “vest,” to console and say that everything will work out, etc. There is hope here that “What if, one fine day, he realizes that all this time he had such a reliable person like me with him.” What if, no, he doesn’t realize? What if he says thank you for your support, you are a good friend and goes on his way?

2) Break off the relationship yourself. Even if you have to go through suffering, you have already started to get used to it. You need to give up illusions, in your dreams, He has already fit perfectly into your future. But, He can give what you want? Just be honest with yourself, put aside the fear of loneliness.

3) Perhaps, having parted now, in a year or two, He will realize who he missed. The relationship will be able to resume, but on a different emotional basis. But first you have to go through a breakup.

Asking Him now about the future of your relationship is pointless, he is simply not able to answer this, he does not want to strain himself. Tension requires strength, and he doesn’t have it now, no matter how outwardly confident He looks.

Any of the above options has the right to exist. But, it's up to you to choose.

I hope I could be a little helpful.

Sincerely, Elena Furkulitsa

Good answer

Bad answer

Don’t deal with your feelings - get angry, worry... this is the kind of woman you have - you chose it yourself. I also want to say that what happens in the family is a marker of relationships, there is no such thing as someone alone being “to blame” for the situation, Both participate in the situation equally. Both are responsible for the current situation. How to forget your wife if you have children together Over time, the habit of blaming not only yourself, seeing shortcomings in your ex-partner, not idealizing the relationship will do its job: the man will become less drawn to the past, and will stop dreaming of its return. Gradually, he will learn not to think at all about his ex-wife as a wonderful person whom he lost due to his stupidity. 4.3 “Forgive me as I forgive you” Remembering that both are to blame for a broken relationship, you should accept your guilt, asking for forgiveness for your mistakes. You can do this out loud in a personal meeting.

How to forget the ex-wife you love? practical advice and recommendations

If you are trying to figure out how to forget your ex-wife, who is taking revenge on you with constant messages about her material, career, personal or sexual successes, don’t sit there sluggishly blinking a fish either! Feel free to enter the war, remembering that you can win it only if you really are better than your ex-wife! And may you not buy a million in the next few years, or go on vacation to Baden-Baden. A constantly growing collection of “here I am - your ex - with another new girlfriend” photos will be more than effective in getting your ex to unhook from you.
How to forget about a wife who has left for another man This is the most difficult thing for almost all men without exception - how to forget about a wife who has left for another man. I read that many men’s websites suggest going to the gym and then “beating your opponent in the snot.”

How to forget your wife if you have children together

Attention

Therefore, before you forget your ex-wife, you should remove all objects from your environment that remind you of her. Stop Negative Thinking Finally, by reducing the intensity and frequency of your thinking, you can stop negative thoughts altogether.

To break out of the negativity in which you find yourself thinking about your ex-wife, you need to exclude everything connected with her from your environment. Don’t communicate with her friends and relatives, try not to meet her on the way home or to work; if she works in the same place as you, change jobs.

In addition, you should remove from your home all items that remind you of her, including gifts, dishes, clothes and even furniture.

I can’t forget my ex-wife and get over the divorce...

To be honest, he thinks it’s wrong! 3. Feeling of betrayal. A detailed psychological clamp is characteristic of all egoists who believe after a breakup that they are too good, kind, caring, hypersexual, attractive, patient, financially secure to be abandoned.

Important

Such underestimation of their personal qualities inflicts such a deep mental blow on egoists that almost immediately it turns into an obsession, forcing them to constantly return for years to thoughts about the ingratitude of their ex-wife and mental attempts to prove to her how wrong she was. 4. A feeling of unrealized destiny. This reason is observed in men with developed consciousness, capable of reading information from their karma.

Info

When children appear, the head of the family, of course, must provide for them too; every year a woman requires more attention and money, all this complicates the situation in the house. Many men, unable to cope with problems, seek salvation in alcohol, some even in drugs, others in other women, and all this inevitably leads to divorce and family destruction.

Even if the love has not left, the marriage can still be dissolved. And immediately after the divorce, a new wave of problems begins, one of which is how to forget the ex-wife you love.

A woman can find a reason for everything if she wants to get a divorce. For example, there are cases where a marriage was dissolved because of a car, a beloved pet, or even a broken mug.
The most common reasons are, of course, infidelity, drunkenness, and assault.

Antibaby forum

By Artem Makarov / April 3rd, 2018 / Medical Law / No Comments It is difficult to quickly and painlessly forget your ex-wife or girlfriend. Often men “break down” during this period: they start drinking, taking drugs, randomly changing partners, and quitting their jobs. These are the consequences of a depressed person who has lost a loved one. A man is engaged in self-examination, looking for shortcomings in himself, accumulating grievances against his ex, and feeling sorry for himself. But there are ways to get out of this state with the least losses. Content

1. Advice from a psychologist
- 1.1. What not to do
2. Getting rid of guilt
- 2.1. The roots of the belief that men are to blame for divorce
- 3. Fairytale therapy as a way to work through the situation

I can’t forget my ex-wife and I suffer a lot.

But much more often (and this is what the black witch Olga tells you, who is not for nothing considered a great expert on women’s souls), exes do not break ties with the husbands they left in order to torment them. Or, if you prefer, take revenge. “You know how disgusting I felt with you.

Now look how good I feel!” And how can one forget one’s wife during such moral persecution? There is only one way - to give up the intention to wait obediently if they really don’t let you go, for fear of not finding anyone better than you. Allow yourself to have a choice when your wife does decide to return. Find the one - dating sites can help you!!! - a relationship with which will allow you not to give in to impulse and not get along with a woman who has already betrayed you once.

How to forget your wife and start again...

And when my wife found out that I was completely hers again, she stupidly left me, and as far as I know, she went to her employee. You understand, she was with me and corresponded with someone else!!! I fell into severe depression. This happened a month and a half ago. I started to drown my grief with alcohol, I drank for about two weeks, but it didn’t get any easier. I pulled myself together and stopped, but it got even worse, my thoughts were pressing and my soul was being torn to pieces. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I moved in with my parents, but it still doesn’t help. Friends say forget it and let's go drink, but it doesn't bother me anymore, and my parents will only be upset once again.

I call my daughter, she says that my mother comes late and my daughter falls asleep alone, my heart bleeds, I can’t forget and everything is very bad. I lie on the bed for days, I degrade, the robot doesn’t work, everything gets out of hand, I completely closed myself off, it’s very painful and nauseating.

I wanted to switch to a new girl, but there is no one.

How to forget your wife if you have a child

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How to forget your wife and start enjoying life again

5 main reasons that prevent a man from forgetting his wife There are a variety of formulas for how to forget your ex-wife. Recently, after re-reading them all, I saw that many of them are so imperfect that if I publish another one on my website “The Black Witch Olga,” nothing fatal will happen.

Yes, and I promise that my formula will not be a repetition of what has already been published, nor a compilation of it, due to which you can get a completely different perspective on solving the problem of how to forget your wife. And not just a “look”, but a really working method.

Let's start with the reasons that do not allow a man to forget his ex-wife, the main ones of which are only 5. And they will be listed according to their importance - from greatest, as expected, to least: 1.

Lack of self-confidence.

How to forget your ex-wife if you have a child

Delete all photos on your phone and computer, correspondence, and contacts. The main thing is to understand that any object that makes you think about your ex-wife must be removed from your life, otherwise you will not be able to stop negative thoughts.

Children from your ex-wife If you and your ex-wife have children together, it will be difficult to break off all possible ties with her. It would be stupid to deprive children of joyful meetings with their father just because your ex brings unpleasant thoughts to you. Let's figure out how to forget your wife if you have a child from her, and not lose touch with him. The main thing is to avoid meeting with your ex-wife. How to forget your ex-wife if you have a child? First, you need to realize that meetings with your ex should be short: you should spend time with the children, not with her.

In fact, I, the black witch Olga, guarantee: if the Higher Powers want you to really work out karmic tasks, then, believe me, in the very near future they will select a woman for you, a relationship with whom will allow you to continue your inner work. 5. Humiliation. Well, the stupidest of men cannot forget their departed spouse, considering themselves humiliated.

It is trampled pride that torments them for years, forcing them to treat all other women - potential traitors - with suspicion or open disdain. And poison your consciousness with endless plans for the most terrible revenge, which - and that’s great! – is never destined to come true. All the reasons that torment men left by their wives cause them a lot of pain. And therefore it is not surprising that almost all of them, tired of suffering, eventually think about how to forget their wife.

How are you doing? Are you addicted? (there are different addictions - workaholism, alcoholism, etc.) Little is clear here, I suggest that she has a fear of parting with you. This happens with women, due to inexperience - she cannot talk about something important with a man herself, in a conversation, so she attracts a third figure. There is a situation of triangulation. Triangulation is the process of involving a third person or group in a relationship between two people in conflict with each other in order to reduce tension in the dyad (the dyad is your couple). And most likely she does not realize much, so what I want to say…. Don’t cope with your feelings - get angry, worry... this is the kind of woman you have - you chose it yourself. Also, I want to say that what happens in the family is a marker of relationships, it is not that one person is “to blame” for the situation, both are involved in the situation - equally.

How to forget the ex-wife you love? practical advice and recommendations

The habit of considering a woman purer than a man has survived to this day. 2.2 Modern causes of divorce Over the past 20-30 years, much has changed in society. In modern society, not all women are active opponents of alcohol. Change both sides equally. Only assault by a woman against her partner is unlikely due to physical gender differences.

Info

Therefore, the reasons for divorce can be:

female, not male, addiction to alcohol;
female, not male, infidelity.

How to forget your wife if you have children together

I know what it's like to turn down other girls because they're "not as good" as your ex was. I know how difficult it is to build new relationships when you have not yet moved on from the previous ones. However, I realized that I need to move on, I need to move on with my life.

Attention

I can’t forget my ex-wife and get over the divorce...

A man is engaged in self-examination, looking for shortcomings in himself, accumulating grievances against his ex, and feeling sorry for himself. But there are ways to get out of this state with the least losses. Content

1. Advice from a psychologist
- 1.1. What not to do
2. Getting rid of guilt
- 2.1. The roots of the belief that men are to blame for divorce
- 2.2. Modern causes of divorce
- 4. Recovery training after a breakup
  - 4.1. "Blow off some steam"

How to forget your ex-wife?

I'm not the only one to blame."

4.3. "Forgive me as I forgive you"
4.4. "A nickel for a miss"
4.5. "Find the good in parting"

5. Live with your spouse for the sake of the children.
6. Super tip for breakups

Show all

1 Advice from a psychologist After breaking up with a loved one, a painful time of adaptation begins. Depression, which inevitably occurs in a person, destroys the psyche.

The sooner this process goes through, the less losses the person will begin a new life. Psychologists highlight the main points that help to cope with this. They are divided into two groups of advice: what to do and what to avoid. 1.1 What not to do Every person is unique, but in similar situations people make the same mistaken actions.

I can’t forget my ex-wife and I suffer a lot.

Living with your spouse for the sake of your children The ideal relationship for a married couple is to raise children together in love and harmony. But unhappy parents will not be able to make them happy. If circumstances are such that divorced spouses have a child, it is impossible to completely forget about the existence of the ex-wife.

In this case, psychologists advise reducing communication with your ex-wife to a minimum. You need to try to spend more time with the child, and not with his mother: go with him to the cinema, to attractions, fishing together or in the company of your friends. If you cannot achieve a complete idyll - the mother does not allow you to be alone with your son or daughter - it is recommended to come to meetings with mutual friends.
The ex will be embarrassed to offend them and will behave with restraint in front of them.

How to forget your ex-wife if you have a child

Find the good in parting” Here it is important to convince yourself: even in bad there is good. The training is as follows: on a sheet with the shortcomings of your ex, they write down the advantages that accompany separation. For example, there was an entry: “It takes a long time to get ready.” The man is nervous, losing precious time. Therefore, now he will write down: “I have a lot of free time, I can play on the computer, read, go to a friend’s house.” Next to the words “he spends a lot on cosmetics” he writes: “I can use the money I save to go on a hike, buy a kayak, pay for a new video editor.” It is not necessary to use a sheet with flaws. You can make a list of pleasant things from parting on a separate sheet. You will remember unrealized dreams that were inaccessible when living together. By writing them down, a man will understand how much good there is around him, how many interesting things have now become available.

Recovery training after a breakup It hurts to accept a breakup with the woman you love. But starting a new life is real: for this there are special trainings developed by specialists. By doing them regularly, you can reduce the adaptation time and get rid of depression quite quickly.

4.1 “Blow off steam” Not everyone has the ability to give vent to feelings. Men often need to learn to let off steam. There are many ways to do this:

playing sports with a significant load;
hitting the boards with a hammer as hard as you can;
inflating balloons until they burst;
screaming at the top of your lungs;
imitation of sobbing with sobs.

Most ways to “let off steam” are associated with loud sounds - this is how the human psyche is structured that the release of strong emotions is accompanied by a noise effect.
Many wives leave their spouses due to the latter's lack of work or due to dissatisfaction with their sex life. Is it possible to forget an ex-wife? Forgetting a wife is much more difficult than forgetting the girl you love. This is due to many factors - you may have children together, friends, acquaintances, property... All this strongly binds people to each other, and most importantly, obliges them to constant cooperation in the sphere of life. Do ex-wives ever get forgotten? Of course, it won’t be easy; it’s more likely to destroy your feelings for her than to simply forget about her existence. The easiest way to forget your ex is to re-educate yourself and change your lifestyle. What needs to be changed in life Life should be changed in all its areas.

How to forget your ex-wife if you have a child and start a new life

Trust your head so that reducing the frequency of thoughts about your ex will happen naturally. You should also understand that all objects around evoke certain associations.

How to forget your ex-wife if you have a child video

For example, like this:

Find another woman - your new beloved will distract you from sad thoughts, and most importantly, provide you with sexual intercourse, and you will not be drawn to your ex.
Finding a hobby, new hobbies - this will provide you with thoughts in a completely different direction and will significantly distract you.
Have fun with friends - go on the weekend to places where you have not been before since you were married, relax with your friends the way you wanted to relax when you were married.
Work more - take on overtime work, then you can not only earn good money, but also take your mind off bad thoughts.
Go to a resort or another city where you can entertain yourself by meeting old or new acquaintances.

The best way to avoid depression is to spend the time you might spend in torment doing good things: work, hobbies, recreation.

How to forget your ex-wife if you have a child and start

I pulled myself together and stopped, but it got even worse, my thoughts were pressing and my soul was being torn to pieces. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I moved in with my parents, but it still doesn’t help. Friends say forget it and let's go drink, but it doesn't bother me anymore, and my parents will only be upset once again.

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