I'm such a nobody... Low self-esteem - “I’m worthless” How to understand that you’re worthless

Psychologist's answer.

Hello, Alexandra!

Let's go in order.

You want to know how to deal with low self-esteem, right?

Start praising yourself, learn to notice your strengths, look positively at your actions.

For example, tell yourself: I’m great for taking responsibility for my life into my own hands and taking concrete steps to correct what doesn’t suit me - in this case, we are talking about the fact that you turned to a specialist for help.

You know what you want: “I want to live and enjoy life.” Knowing what you want is a character trait of confident people. Make a note of this for yourself!

Next you write that after school you “lost” a whole year. Are you sure you lost it? Try to rephrase this sentence so that it has a positive meaning. Perhaps you didn’t like the specialty you entered? What do you want to become, what specialty do you see as the most attractive for yourself? Matching your inclinations? One on which you can develop your abilities? Perhaps you needed to think about everything specifically, understand yourself, without being distracted by anything? And then this year cannot be considered lost!

You don’t sit idly by, you work – and any work is worthy of respect!

What exactly scares you on the street, what thoughts and emotions appear when leaving the house? How much do they really correspond to the real state of affairs?..

Yes, character traits can be changed, but first you need to accept those that exist and love yourself for who you are now. Treat yourself with understanding, approval, care, love!

You write, you need education. Change the word “need” to “want”. Do you want education? Answer yourself: for what? The important thing here is to want it! I want to because... continue yourself.

“What should I do and what should I do?” Ask yourself what has caused you to maintain a low estimate until now? What advantages have you found for yourself from the current state of affairs? What are you willing to do, what to invest (effort, time, etc.) to improve the quality of your life?..

The process of becoming a confident person will go faster and easier if you read specialized literature, for example, Albert Ellis “Humanistic Psychotherapy”, Louise Hay “Heal Your Life”, and other books or work for some time on your self-esteem with a psychologist.

Hello. I always felt like a second-class person, because my mother and I lived alone and lived poorly. My relatives spanked me when I was a child, and I have had strong self-doubt since childhood. I am always very demanding of myself, and I constantly engage in self-criticism, that I said something wrong to someone, or did something wrong. I don’t have a very good relationship with my husband, the emotions that he addresses to me are not enough for me. I want to be loved more. Therefore, I constantly flirt with other men and then my conscience eats me up that I’m like a girl of easy virtue.
I'm 23 now. I work as a chief accountant, and I still consider myself insignificant. I even try to approach my boss less so as not to bother him.
I always think that I could have done it differently, better. I think this way about everything, even before I said hello to someone. And it always seems that people notice all this, remember it, and then discuss me and don’t respect me.
Previously, my mother could support me in this, but now my mother has died. I sorely lack communication with someone to be frank. As a result, I get verbal diarrhea whenever I start talking to anyone. And then I think again, why did I tell everything about myself to a stranger, I should have remained silent.
I can’t come to terms with the fact that I am like this. It seems like I’m trying to consider myself a normal, not stupid person, and then again I make myself look like a fool.

Hello, Vera!

I understand you very much, it’s hard to live, constantly “eating” yourself with criticism. And I know from myself that it is very difficult to wean yourself from criticizing yourself. I would recommend that you work with a psychologist in order to understand where you got this habit from and neutralize this negative program. If desired, we can work via Skype. If you are not yet ready for such work, start keeping a success diary. Buy a beautiful notebook and write down in it every evening all your achievements, no matter how small, and in the second column write down your qualities that helped you in this. Re-read it constantly. If you want to criticize yourself, tell yourself: “What a clever, beautiful thing I did! Well, since I could do it this way, I can do it differently next time!” Take it as an axiom: we are all strong in hindsight. But at a given moment in time, we always make the most correct decision based on the state in which we find ourselves. Understand that by criticizing ourselves, we only lower our self-esteem. All this is written very well in the books of Marusya Svetlova. Find and read the book “Thought Creates Reality”, I think you will find good tools there to get out of your current state.

All the best!

Perfilyeva Inna Yurievna, psychologist in Rostov-on-Don

Hello, Vera.

Childhood experiences have a serious impact on a person's adult life, this is a fact. You yourself feel that you have not overcome this yet. You lack even simple participation, due to the lack of love in your childhood, and now you compensate for this with uncontrolled flirting. So the little girl living inside you is looking for love and care.

Vera, I highly recommend that you work through your attitudes with a specialist; constantly feeling like a “nothing” terribly unscrews the nervous system, creates the preconditions for self-dislike, depressive states, and neuroses. Choose a psychologist in whom you will feel trust - and move towards a new you, you have all the possibilities for this, and a psychologist will help you find resources. I also offer you my help and support in the format of Skype consultations.

Sincerely,

Yulia Trofimova, psychologist Elektrostal, consulting via Skype

Vera, hello.
Indeed, such a feeling of oneself greatly complicates Life and spoils its quality. Apparently, you are a smart, successful person - at such a young age you became the chief accountant. You realized that it was difficult to live like this and turned to psychologists for support. But in absentia it is difficult to understand the reason for your self-experience. The fact that there is not enough love now means that you did not receive it in your family, with your mother. If she raised you alone, then it is clear that she had to survive. And there’s no time for love there. And you are still hungry in this sense. And now, no matter how much you are loved, you will feel like a hungry girl. And this is always difficult - both for you and for those who are close to you. Therefore, this difficulty should be resolved with a specialist. You can contact psychologists in your city or choose on our website. Sincerely.

Silina Marina Valentinovna, psychologist Ivanovo

Question for a psychologist:

Good afternoon. I am 20 years old. I don’t know where to start, because I want to say so much. Perhaps I should start with the fact that I feel insignificant. That I'm worse than others. Insecure, constantly feeling guilty, ugly, uninteresting, weak. I feel like I’m saying something wrong, behaving wrong, walking wrong, looking wrong, dressing wrong, acting wrong. That everyone is watching and judging. I feel constantly dirty, even though I wash myself every day. I feel negativity in my body and soul, like dirt on my body. Although she didn’t do anything sinful. I'm afraid of everything. I am being treated by a psychiatrist. Anxiety-phobic disorder. I have been taking antidepressants and sedatives for three years now. Plus VSD. I always carry pills and ammonia with me. I'm afraid of fainting (this has happened before). Low pressure. Sometimes there is a feeling of unreality, obsessive thoughts and states always occur. Before going to bed, you need to check everything 5 times - gas, door. Although I remember that I turned it off, I wonder if there was a fire, or something didn’t close completely. I need to control everything so that everything is perfect. I'm so tired of this, sometimes my head just explodes from pain. I'm very suspicious. My parents take great care of me, although what I described is all happening in the soul, no one sees it. They don’t let you go anywhere in the winter after 5:00 pm - it’s dark, there’s no point in wandering around the streets at night. I'm not like that, I don't like nightclubs. But sometimes you really want to go out with your girlfriend or boy. Dad is hysterical about this. Grandmother takes care. When you leave home for the city to study for a week, wave your hand through the window (on the way to the station). I can't live like this. If you come from university, call, if you leave, call. They are very disturbing. They constantly ask how are you, is anything wrong? I can not take it anymore. There are only bad thoughts in my head - what if something happens. I love them very much and I’m afraid of offending them; I’ll say something and the guilt will overwhelm me so much that I can’t breathe.

I don't have a boyfriend, I'm terribly lonely and I'm afraid to be alone. I always sit at home at the computer - either studying or the Internet. I tried to meet people there, but they were either vulgar, swearing, or smoking and drinking. I do not want it. I can't stand it. I'm afraid that I won't be able to find a decent guy and will remain an old maid. I don’t know how to be friends with guys, I perceive every male person as a future guy. And this is already driving me crazy. I am also very afraid of relationships, including intimate ones. I'm afraid that they will offend me, mock me and abandon me, that they will laugh at my inexperience or something else. Everywhere there is a cult of intimacy, but I want to communicate, I want to walk, hold hands. I have never had anything like this, no one looked after me.

I started watching bloggers on YouTube. There is one couple who films every day. They are so beautiful, good, positive, happy. I started living their life. I stopped perceiving myself. I don't feel like taking care of myself. For what? I'm still ugly, no one looks at me. I can’t hear myself over all these videos, advice from family and others. I want to sit down and look at one point, without thinking about anything. But I can’t stop watching the video. It's already like a drug.

Recently I had a heartbreak. I was left without a close friend. My cat died. He was always with me. It pains me terribly that I will never be able to bring him back, return my childhood with him, hug him. He died when I was in the city studying. I constantly remember my mother’s words on the phone - the cat died yesterday. When I imagine that he is in the ground, dark, cold, wet, I feel so sick. I don’t know how to continue to live with such pain. I'm afraid of losing my loved ones. I wrote this and now I’m thinking, what if it really comes true because I said it? I'm very tired. I have no one to talk to. I often take Corvalol because it’s hard to breathe and I can’t calm down at night, not cry and fall asleep. Sorry for the confusion, it was very difficult for me to carry this inside myself.

Psychologist Alexander Evgenievich Zhuravlev answers the question.

Hello, Inna.

Thank you for your candid letter. It's probably really hard for you.

In general, a cool letter, where every question seems to contain an answer.

I `m ugly! - So be beautiful!

I'm worse than others! - So be better than others!

I'm afraid of everything! - Be brave!

Inna, I have some questions for you.

Were you often bullied as a child? Mom and Dad said to you: “Where are you going, daughter, to play with other children! You’re scary here, and they’re so handsome!!!”

Do your parents take care of you only in winter, when it gets dark early? Or in the summer too? But after 22 hours!)))

You need a decent guy - this is class. But with your anxiety states, obsessive-compulsive manifestations, fears and strange self-esteem, it will not be easy to find such a person.

Tell me, did you ever have a boyfriend? If so, how was the relationship built? Was it love or just like that?

And friends??? Were there (or are there) friends? How have you generally built relationships with your peers throughout your life?

What do you love most? What are you most afraid of? What are your cherished dreams?

How do you see your future and how would you like to see it???

This is how easy it is to help in a letter to a person who::: ATTENTION:::

Observed by a psychiatrist;

He listed (in the form of a self-diagnosis) five of the most serious neuroses and psychosomatic disorders;

He says to himself that “I am insecure, I constantly feel guilty, ugly, uninteresting, weak”;

Moans from the attention of relatives, calling it “overprotection”, etc.

(I continue the phrase) is not possible.

But I will try to do something.

Tell me, can talking about philosophy and looking for an idea work?

Well, let's say, banal things like “life is a precious gift from God” or “look around - there are a lot of really unhappy people in the world”! A?

Are you generally a believer? Honestly, it would be good for you to “clean up.” But not physically (this theme sounds very vivid in your letter), but energetically, or something... It doesn’t matter whether in church, at yoga classes, in the park, looking at the heavens, listening to your favorite music, and so on. Cleanse yourself energetically - track and remove from your head everything that prevents you from moving into the future!!! And these are, first of all, your thoughts and your strange beliefs.

Eliminate ALL CRITICAL CONCLUSIONS AND THOUGHTS, all dogmas and attitudes of a critical nature, everything in which resentment is heard - resentment against the world, parents, oneself, etc.

"I `m ugly". "I won't succeed." “All the guys are vulgar, and the non-vulgar ones are not interested in me.” "I am guilty". "I'm offended." I can continue ad infinitum.

All this in your head can be replaced with ONE or TWO key phrases-ideas or affirmative settings:

“I forgive you all for not being what I would like you to be. And you will forgive me for not being what you would like me to be.”

“Thank you for making me understand better and now I know what to do!”

This is described in more detail in the book that you really need: Louise Hay, “The Power Is Within Us.”

And in general, any book by Hey is a real gift to people with a story like yours. And (for some reason I’m sure) all your troubles will go away. Even of a somatic nature.

You revel in your problems too much, Inna. This too, excuse me, is visible to the naked eye. I read it carefully, but I didn’t find one thing anywhere: have you ever tried to fight? Without the help of specialists and doctors! What did you even try to do?

VSD? Cardiovascular issues? Breathe heavily? So, Inna, this is quite easy to treat.

You are 20 years old. Have you tried physical exercises and basic home physiotherapy in the form of a dull contrast shower?

Now, if you need to start somewhere, it’s with this!

Something I don’t like is that you are “addicted” to psychiatry and drug therapy.

Try what I recommend. Maybe it will get better?

You wrote absolutely nothing about HOW EXACTLY you live! You are working? Are you studying? What is your daily routine?

I will act at random!

1. Daily routine. IT MUST BE REINFORCED CONCRETE! Get up and go to bed at about the same time. You should sleep no less (preferably and no more) 7-8 hours.

2. There is no need to jump out of bed immediately after waking up. You should have a little “play” - three to five minutes, when you just lie down with your eyes closed, but without sleep. At this time you BREATHE: inhale for 1-2-3, exhale for 1-2-3-4-5, mentally saying “good morning, Innusya”! Exactly!

3. Go to the kitchen and calmly drink a glass of water.

4. Shower. Necessarily! And start with a comfortably warm one. You have to warm yourself up, followed by five seconds of cold (or tepid) water. Then it's warm again. The cycle can last as long as you like. But you must complete this physiotherapeutic procedure with WARM water!

For psychology, I’ll add: a great way to set yourself up is to say an old and very nice saying-mantra while taking a shower: “As water is off a duck’s back, thinness is off my back (poverty, emptiness, etc.)!”

It works! Yes!

5. Just after the shower - 5 minutes of physical warm-up.

Everything should be very comfortable. My scheme (specifically for VSD nicknames):

1 minute - jumping;

2 minutes - calm squats at a slow pace. These are 3 sets of 10 squats with pauses for rest.

1 minute - push-ups from the floor “on your knees”. That is, you stand on the floor on your hands and knees (on all fours) and do push-ups. that's all! Three three times five push-ups!

1 minute - any abdominal exercises on the floor.

Everything is done in a calm, comfortable rhythm, without demanding anything from yourself, but trying your best!

6. Rest 5 minutes.

7. Breakfast (required!): Hot drink + any porridge (except semolina and rice). No bread needed.

8. According to your individual plan.

Nothing particularly complicated or expensive. And the main thing is to start doing it.

Inna! I guarantee your mood will improve. And if the mood is good, then something will definitely work out!

You haven’t written anything about other “sources” of positive emotions, except for this video blog. But if it exists, then that’s good! Still, there are people there that you would like to be like.

So, dear! In essence, a morning like this will DEFINITELY make you much closer to these people, in terms of lifestyle!

But!!! You need to look for other opportunities to “feed” your motivation.

Is there anything else you like besides the Internet? Clothing, music, cinema, theater, books, etc. Search and try!

But you need to start with the most important thing: you must definitely organize your life. You need to develop your own style! And the daily routine and activities for yourself and your loved one is number one!

It feels like I need to quit psychiatry. Unless we are talking about schizophrenia. Everything else, all your compulsive and obsessive “manifestations,” I’m afraid, are only getting worse.

You definitely have neurosis. It must be treated, including with medications. But, following your story, everything is not very successful so far. Conclusion: we need to change therapy, methods and (or) doctors!

Hold on!!! Everything will definitely be great if you write to us regularly and put into practice at least something of what, in general, highly qualified specialists advise.

4.4268292682927 Rating 4.43 (41 Votes)

Sometimes it happens that we treat ourselves not just harshly, but cruelly. Remember what words we are able to say to ourselves when something doesn’t work out for us, when we are dissatisfied with ourselves, when we find ourselves in an awkward, “shameful” situation? The feeling of one’s own insignificance is only one of the manifestations of dissatisfaction with oneself and not always the strongest. So why does this happen and what can you do about it?

When does this happen?

We tend to consider ourselves insignificant, pitiful individuals in those cases when we believe that we should have presented ourselves to society and/or to ourselves more worthy than we did. This applies to almost anything. This could be a disastrous public performance, a declaration of love that was not reciprocated, public criticism, separation from a partner, even an accident on a slippery road when you couldn’t cope with a skid.

What is important?

Please note that it rarely matters to us whether we actually slacked, approached the issue unprepared, hoping that it would do just fine, or did everything we could, but failed. This is when you say to yourself, “Yes, I did everything I could.” This is when they tell you “Nothing more could be done,” “No one in such a situation could simply do it.” And finally, this is when the realization that you really tried hard doesn’t matter - the question on your lips is “Why do I still feel so insignificant?”

Because

The chain of events that forms such an impartial opinion about oneself stretches from our childhood. This is a separate topic, suffice it to say that, perhaps, most children, after appropriate treatment by their parents, experience something similar and, of course, go with this into adulthood, where such self-perception tends to worsen.

So, the reasons why many of us tend to treat ourselves like a garbage can are due to the fact that we end up weakening our real “I” and forming a certain ideal image that we mistakenly accept for who we want to be.

That is, it was drilled into us how we should behave, what we should do, what we should consider valuable, so that we would be accepted in society and feel good about ourselves. This is someone’s fantasy (a surrogate for the ideas of our parents, educators, teachers, grandparents, sisters and other influential persons), which we, nevertheless, accept and fantasize for ourselves some kind of super-man whom we want to become, based on these the most alien fantasies and adding your own to them.

We can say that in this way we form our double, a kind of ideal avatar, whom, for example, everyone loves, who is efficient without measure, compassionate, takes care of his wife, who scribble children for him, gets promoted, is kind, honest, in his free time from work time runs around the area and picks up kittens from trees.

In general, depending on personal input circumstances, the set may vary, but in one society, as a rule, it is approximately the same.

Obviously, if we do not correspond to the ideal image, this means that we do not fulfill the program laid down in us and find ourselves unworthy of love, attention, respect, joy and other benefits, including material ones, that we could receive. “The winner takes all”, the loser is not even worthy of sympathy. This is what our ideal double leads to. Now, ask yourself the question “Is it possible to achieve the ideal image? Has anyone succeeded in this in the entire history of mankind?” You can safely answer “NO, THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!”

The trouble is that we believe that this “avatar” is us. But that's not true. Our true “I”, as a rule, in such a situation, is extremely weak and needs to be manifested and developed.

Direction of change

When we are told about the need to be conscious of our actions, this is precisely one of the ways to manifest our true self and remove the false double from us.

Who said?

For example, you have formed unproductive beliefs that:

• Friends need to help in everything, even to their own detriment.
• You have to be the best in anything you do.
• We must resort to help, throwing everything
• You are the breadwinner
• You have to endure failed relationships.

The list, as you understand, can be continued.

Write it down and ask a question like, “Where is this written?” As an option “Who said that?” Where does it say that you should put your interests last? By the way, if you ask yourself, for example, “Who said that you always have to be the best?”, it is quite possible that you will remember the address. Most likely, it will be someone close to you.

This is a good technique that should be practiced constantly. A one-time application can only start the process of long-term changes.

That is, evaluate all situations in which you call yourself derogatory, critically. So you do not obey this voice of the executioner, who executes you with gusto. Sometimes multiple times.

Alien program

Remind yourself that you are executing someone else's program and that the “avatar” is not you. The program is incorrect by definition, because it was introduced to you without taking into account your personal characteristics. Nobody knows you like you do. Moreover, you are also constantly learning about yourself. So there is no reason to believe that the rules, values, and norms of behavior embedded in you are correct. They are not for you. They just exist and they were given to you. You can take some things, but you may well refuse some things. And you have every right to do so.

Stop fantasizing

Stop fantasizing. We fantasize very often and a lot about what other people think about us, and what they think in general. This is how we create other people’s doubles (more likely, already triplets). Agree, we cannot know what this or that person really thinks. And if we really think so, then this is a serious reason to seek psychiatric help. Therefore, ask for reliable information. It can be scary to ask. And, this is also the influence of our double. But, otherwise, you are only “feeding” him, continuing to practice irrational behavior.

Be aware of your feelings and needs

Try to understand yourself. Ask yourself questions. Why am I acting this way or that now, why am I offended/angry/happy? What lies behind my emotion, what desire and what need? Talk to your loved ones about your feelings, calmly, balancedly, discuss your relationships, your needs for them.

It's not all about you

Please note that taking into account the presence of psychological “doubles” in us, there is no reason to believe that everything that is said in relation to you is not said by the real “I” of another person, but by his false image, filled with exactly the same false understanding of himself, as probably you do, if his words have an effect on you. This means that you should not react to other people's words as some kind of truth about you. In any case, this is one of the opinions, of which there may be billions - according to the number of people on the planet. It’s better to ask yourself the question - “Why, when I hear 10 calls addressed to me and one negative assessment, I worry primarily because of it.” But even this is not the main thing. Try to realize that praise is exactly the same as something less pleasant. Treat such opinions as criteria for evaluation among other people of what you are doing to do what is good for you (probably what others need), but do not seek evaluation.

Your importance cannot be measured

Don't forget that your importance to this world cannot be measured by anyone. Including you. She just is. Your place in this world is no less important than your boss's. If only because, occupying a high position, he can harm the company much more.

In general, the main thing you need to realize is that your attitude towards yourself is not a manifestation of your real “I”. This is your double, which you have fantasized on the basis of rather controversial beliefs that were implanted in you as a child and which you may not even remember. Agree that initially a person cannot mock himself. Why suddenly? Obviously, this is directly opposed to the goal of every living being - survival. By oppressing yourself, you do not contribute to this task, but exactly the opposite. This means it is unnatural. But, it is very convenient from the point of view of other people who are not averse to controlling you.

You can start working on yourself right now. Gradually, you will part with most of your fears, you will communicate calmly, openly, with respect for yourself and others, you will begin to understand what you really want, you will be able to form your own boundaries, your own moral code, which will allow you be efficient, flexible and productive. You will stop listening to other people's opinions, you will take note of them. Your failures will be a reason for growth, and not a swamp of your stay, people will no longer seem dangerous, and unfounded claims will cause your categorical misunderstanding, and will not be a signal to action in the name of other people's interests.
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Most people, even to a first approximation, do not understand how much their life, their state of happiness, everything they achieve and potentially can have, directly depends on their.

The essence of self-esteem is the attitude towards oneself: is it negative or positive? Does a person believe in himself or not? Does he respect or despise? Is he weak and vulnerable or strong and invulnerable?

Let me remind you that if a person does not believe in himself, he will not even dare to dream of achieving any significant goals and peaks in life. If he doesn’t respect himself, doesn’t love himself, he won’t even give himself the right joy and will bypass all opportunities to become happy.

Even if a person has great highs, but he has low self-esteem, he will never achieve them if he does not level up his self-esteem, learn to love and respect himself, appreciate and protect his virtues and values ​​in life.

Low self-esteem, a feeling of one’s own insignificance is one of the first and biggest obstacles to one’s happiness and success in any field, no matter what it concerns. Because like attracts like: the worthy attracts the worthy, the insignificant - the insignificant!

What is low self-esteem and the “I’m worthless” program?

Low Self-Esteem is an inadequately negative attitude towards oneself, one’s soul, body, and destiny. And this negative attitude is always somehow justified, but the problem is that in these justifications there are a lot of errors and extremes (misconceptions).

Low self-esteem – this is: A) A negative attitude towards oneself(dislike, self-hatred) B) Lack of self-confidence C) Vulnerability, dependence, weakness(not the ability to protect yourself and your Honor, what is dear)

It is common for people who have low self-esteem to not see or recognize their merits (good qualities, achievements, etc.), and to greatly exaggerate their shortcomings and problems, blaming themselves for them, saying to themselves: “I’m bad”, “I’m a loser”, “I’m worthless”, “I won’t succeed” and so on. This attitude towards oneself is self-deception and absolutely unfair! This will not lead to anything good except the destruction of yourself and your life.

A person who does not see and does not recognize his merits is doomed, he has nothing to rely on in life, he has no self-respect, he will not retain anything worthy and will not be able to protect it. In addition, people with low self-esteem are almost always sufferers; they fill their souls with the negative energy of suffering, worries and pain, because they are internally confident that suffering is their fate, and they will not see happiness.

But in fact, they simply receive what they believe in, what they have cultivated and strengthened in themselves all their lives - “To each according to his faith...”.

Where does low self-esteem come from?

Most often this is the result of upbringing and parental programming. On the one side, children copy the programs, beliefs, attitudes, lifestyles of their parents and loved ones. That is, if a mother, for example, has low self-esteem and regularly eats herself away, then the daughter, most often, will have the same internal inclinations and habits.

On the other side, parents and those who most influence the formation of the child’s personality (including teachers at school) often themselves, unconsciously or purposefully, form low self-esteem in the child, calling him bad words like - “You’re stupid”, “You’re mediocrity”, “Nothing will come of you”, “You’re disgusting”, etc.

And if such negative seeds were sown in childhood, during the period of upbringing, then the person himself, as a rule, finishes himself off, cheats, castigates, blames and destroys. And if this process is not stopped in time, the negativity grows on itself like a snowball, bringing destruction, failure and suffering to a person.

Therefore it is very important: 1. Stop the process of self-destruction and self-underestimation. 2 Start removing negative programs - the basis of low self-esteem. 3. Build a strong positive self-esteem that is invulnerable in all respects.

Esoteric reasons. It happens that one already comes into this life with low self-esteem, which was broken in a past life, and the task is to rebuild one’s self-esteem, dignity, self-confidence, to revive it from the ruins. In this case, you need to work on yourself very carefully. Although I will not hide that often, in order to build positive self-esteem, it is necessary to remove the root causes of the negative, which lie in a person’s past life, and in this case, one cannot do without the help of good things.

How to remove low self-esteem and feelings of insignificance?

1. Start with a positive - build self-respect! Study and work through the following articles: and.

2. Eliminate negativity towards yourself.(negative names and attitudes) and replace it with a positive one(beliefs that will give you strength and joy).

Exercise: 1. Divide a sheet of paper into two equal parts vertically. 2. On the left side of the sheet, in a column, write down all the negative names, name-calling, words that others called you and those that you called yourself. 3. On the right side, opposite each negative name, find and write a worthy, positive replacement, how you ideally want to treat yourself. And preferably with justification.

For example:

• replacement – I am a worthy person because I work on myself, I have a lot of positive qualities, others respect me, etc.
• I'm mediocre - replacement – and I have enormous potential, I have talents and I can do a lot of things!
• I am a loser - replacement – I am a strong person who is striving for success and is constantly learning. All successful people went through a streak of failures, obstacles and even shame, they were able to overcome this black streak with dignity, and so can I!

Believe me, if you complete this exercise efficiently and sincerely (maybe even in 2 or 3 passes), you will immediately feel a surge of energy, an increase in positivity and self-confidence.

3. Start revealing love for yourself and your Soul! To do this, study and practically work through the following articles: and.

This will definitely help you!

4. Additional recommendation. Especially during the period when you will be working on yourself and your positive self-esteem has not yet strengthened, but your negative self-esteem has become aggravated - limit your social circle. Communicate only with those who respect and support you. And try not to communicate with those who undermine your self-esteem, who treat you negatively, try to humiliate you, destroy your self-confidence, etc.

And when you feel strong, when your positive self-esteem gets stronger, you can start training it to be invulnerable when dealing with such people :)

It must be said that the topic “How to build enormous confidence” deserves a separate article and even a book, and we will definitely consider this topic!

And if you feel that your self-esteem is severely damaged and you need qualified help, I will also recommend a good Spiritual Healer! (work via Skype)